


The Remix of You and I

by ephemeralstories



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Everyone Lives/Nobody Dies, Asset Bucky, Avenger Reader (Marvel), Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Daddy Issues, Eventual Romance, Evil Plans, F/M, Family Issues, Fluff, Healed Bucky, Hes not evil or anything so like, How Do I Tag, Hydra (Marvel), I Don't Even Know, I Tried, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Idiots in Love, Memory Loss, Natasha is like a sister, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Post-Endgame, Reader-Insert, Slow Burn, Steve is also like a sibling, Unpaid Debts, i can’t believe I wrote this
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-08-16
Packaged: 2021-03-04 03:14:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 5
Words: 14,824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24986629
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ephemeralstories/pseuds/ephemeralstories
Summary: You have it all, a great job, loving friends, amazing family, and the most badass (but hot) best friend who you may or may not have feelings for.Everything is going well and you wouldn't have it any other way.But when someone from your past comes to make you repay the debts you owe, you find yourself in a conundrum, one you may never return from
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Reader, Natasha Romanov (Marvel) & Reader, Pepper Potts & Reader, Pepper Potts/Tony Stark, Sam Wilson (Marvel) & Reader, Steve Rogers & Reader, Steve Rogers/Natasha Romanov, Tony Stark & Reader, Wanda Maximoff & Reader, Wanda Maximoff/Vision
Comments: 4
Kudos: 20





	1. The Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> None yet ahaha.

You were soundly asleep in your oversized t-shirt and leggings when you heard a loud:

“HAPPY BIRTHDAY [Y/N]!” 

You stirred and sat up in your bed. Groaning, you looked down at the confetti all around your room. Your friends were all grinning down at you, and holding a wrapped gift in their hands. You narrowed your eyes and tsked.

“Hey I appreciate the gesture guys. I love you and all but can you please get the fuck out so I can wake up fully?” you asked in your sweetest voice.

Everyone laughed but made no move to get out.

“I was serious.” you deadpanned.

No-one moved either way so you threw off the covers and stomped to the bathroom. Taking a quick shower, you threw on a (Y/F/C) long sleeve top that clung to your curves and a pair of blue skinny jeans. You let your wet hair down and walked back into your room. Thank God. Your friends had retreated to your living room, judging from the loud noise. You left your room, shutting the door behind you and was immediately swept up in a hug by Steve. Steve was your older brother. Well, almost. He took care of you like any brother would and even better. He was very protective of you and always made sure you had the best of everything. Oh and he spoiled you rotten. Even more than Tony did, which was saying a lot.

“[Y/N]! I can’t believe you’re 19! I still remember the days where you were 15.” he said and you grinned.

“Steve, I love you and all, but you’re suffocating me. So unless you want me to die on my 19th birthday, let go.” you smirked against his chest and you could feel him rolling his eyes at you.

Once he let go, you looked around your living room. It was decorated with banners and confetti, the neon colors blinding you.

“You guys really went all out huh?” you laughed and Natasha spoke.

“Well, our little baby bear isn't so little anymore so yes we did.” she smirked and you flushed.

“Just cause you all are old doesn’t mean I have to be!” you exclaimed, earning chuckles from all around the room.

“Well, let’s go.” Bucky piped up and you turned your head to him in confusion. 

Bucky was one of Steve’s close friends. You didn’t know him all that well but you knew that he was really nice and hella good looking.

“Go where?”

\----

“What the fuck-” you started but Natasha cut you off.

Natasha was a beautiful woman, but don't let that fool you. She was as fiery as her red hair, which hung to her shoulders. She was much like a mother lioness, very protective of her cubs, which in your case, was you. She held hands with Steve who looked at her with utter adoration, as if she was the sun in the middle of a storm. They had been dating for a few months now, but Steve still didn’t seem to be over the ‘oh god i love you i wanna be with you’ stage.

“You’re 19 and all you do is throw yourself into your work girl! C'mon, live a little.” she complained and you sighed and looked up at the bar.

The late night air had a certain stuffiness to it as you all stood in front of the bar, standing all together due to the cold. It seeped through your bones and you pulled your orange jacket closer to your body. The moon’s captivating glow highlighted the features of your face and you tilted your head to look at how the light brought out the color in Bucky’s eyes. They were so beautiful and captivating and you wouldn’t mind spending the rest of your life staring into those eyes- wait. You shook yourself to get her thoughts back in order. You didn’t need a repeat of Tom so instead you tilted your head to look up at the bar.

The bar had a bright pink sign that had little blue circles of light that lit up every time someone walked in. The music was so loud that you could hear it all the way outside, the bass sending vibrations through you. The name was written in bold swirly letters:

_**Crystal Crown Brewhouse** _

Huh. A brewhouse hmm? Let’s see how this works out.

You nodded and your friends cheered, all of you walking in. Natasha led us to a table and you frowned. You looked at Steve and Natasha smiling at each other so lovingly you couldn’t help deepening your frown. Steve, automatically noticing your frown, quirked an eyebrow.

“[Y/N]? Why the frown?” he asked and you sighed.

“Nothing Steven. Let’s just sit down.” you said and he halted.

“No, we are not going to sit down. You don’t call me Steven unless something is wrong.”

Shit. You mentally cursed yourself and gave in.

“I hate feeling single! I haven’t had a boyfriend since..” you drifted off, not wanting to say his name. Steve's eyes shone with empathy. His ex, Peggy, had taken his heart and completely shredded it, leaving Natasha to pick up the pieces and glue them together. Your ex, Tom, was an abusive son of a bitch that liked to hurt you mentally and physically. He threatened to kill you and your friends if you broke up with him, but thanks to Steve you were able to get away.

“Well there’s always Bucky.” Natasha grinned with mischief and you turned red while Bucky glared.

“I barely know Bucky…” you pointed out as you all continued walking.

“I’m right here you know.” Bucky whined from behind you and you scoffed.

“Manchild.”

“Womanchild.”

You scrunched up your face in confusion and turned to Bucky.

“The hell is a womanchild?”

“I actually have no idea. I just wanted to call you that.” he admitted, his face sheepish.

You whacked him with your purse and he laughed.

“I probably deserved that.” he laughed again and you could feel a smile spreading across your face.

“See you’re obviously getting along already.” Steve snickered from his spot beside Natasha.

“Shut it trunk arms.”

*3 months later*

“You’re so bad at laser tag James!” you started to laugh at him but he wrinkled his nose.

“James?! Don’t call me that.”

“Why James?” you raised an eyebrow at Bucky’s flushed face

“Only my mother called me James.” he mumbled and you fought back a snicker.

“What’s that James?” you teased and he pouted.

“Stop calling me that!”

You sat lounged on your couch, hair down after a stressful day and Bucky sat beside you, only an inch away.

“Why? It’s cute.” you smirked and he glared at you, very much annoyed.

“No it’s not. It’s so fucking formal. It’s just…” he drifted off.

“I like it ok James? You can’t stop me from calling you that.” you said defiantly and Bucky sighed.

“Whatever you like sweetheart.” He got up and headed to your kitchen, presumably to look through your fridge for food and you exhaled, stretching out your limbs on the couch.

You had just gotten a job at a famous research company, Stark Industries as a supposed technician. You were actually the Avengers at home backup, you monitored the missions through comms and made sure they did the mission as well as they could with the least casualties they could. You loved the work, the fact that it had good pay was the least of it. Tony was a great boss, he always brought breakfast for you when you didn’t eat. Steve was your bodyguard (sadly) and always made sure you were safe. It was really fun hanging around with everyone and you loved this job more than you could express. Suddenly a loud pop came from the kitchen and you practically jumped out of your seat to run to the kitchen. Bucky was standing there with a shocked expression on his face, staring down at a cracked open jar of Nutella, its contents splattered over the floor and his face.

“James…” you said, stepping over the pile of hazelnut goo to stand in front of Bucky, your chests almost touching, “What were you doing?”

“I-you-I wanted some…” he stammered, cheeks turning red. You chuckled softly and reached up to caress his cheek.

“Silly boy..you got it all over your face.” you wiped all the Nutella off of his face, your hands gliding over his cheekbones and the soft planes of his face.

He seemed to be frozen at your loving action and just stared down at you as you cleaned his face. Something in him stirred and he grabbed your hand and pressed his lips to your palm, earning a soft gasp from you.

“J-james…” you faltered as he nuzzled his nose into your hand.

Once he was satisfied, he stepped back enough to let you go wash your hands. Still flustered, you scrubbed your hands clean and looked down at Bucky, who had started to mop the floor clean.

“James, do you want me to or..”

“No, it’s my fault. I got it.” he replied, continuing to mop without looking up.

You chewed on your bottom lip as you walked out of your kitchen. Sure, you and Bucky had become really close ever since your birthday, hanging out everyday and doing goofy stuff together. But, Bucky had never gone as far as to hug you, much less kiss your hand. You didn’t know how to read this. Was it a friendly gesture? Or was it a hint to something more? Argh! You weren’t good with all this love shit. Just before you went into your room to change out of your uniform, you called out for Bucky.

“James?”

“Yeah sweetheart?” he replied, immediately

“I’m going to change ok?” A sound of agreement came from Bucky that made you flush and hurry into your room. 

Throwing on a random striped shirt and shorts, you went back to the living room and sat beside Bucky on the couch again.

“What do you want to watch [Y/N]?” he asked, looking over at you.

“Mmmm...Gone with the Wind?” you asked tentatively, not sure if Bucky would like it.

His face split into a fond grin and his eyes crinkled at the corners.

“I love Gone with the Wind!!” he said fondly and you smiled, snuggling into his side.

“Good to know.”

* a year later *

“Jamieeee” you drawled and Bucky looked over at you, eyebrows raised.

“Yeah sweetheart?”

“I’m sleepy” you complained from your spot beside Bucky on the floor.

The Avengers Team were gathered in the movie room watching an old horror flick. Tony and Pepper were curled up together on the sofa while Steve and Nat were having a make out session on the loveseat. Sam sat reclined on a chair on the other side and Peter was asleep on Tony’s lap, who had an arm around him. Tony treated Peter like his own son, it was adorable. 

“You’re sleepy huh?” Bucky said, scooching closer to you so that your thighs were touching.

You nodded and yawned, stretching your limbs out in front of you. Bucky chuckled softly and grabbed your waist, gently tugging you toward his lap. You immediately complied and rested your head in his lap. He brushed your hair off your forehead and continued stroking you till you fell asleep.

“Go to sleep sweetheart.”

-

You woke up groggily and turned, only to promptly hit your head against a hard barrier. The barrier made a sleepy murmur and wrapped its arms around you tighter, pulling you closer. It was then your sleepy mind realized that it was not in fact a barrier but Bucky’s very toned chest, heaving with soft breaths. You sniffed and snuggled into him closer, going back to sleep. Then suddenly a bang made Bucky almost jump up out of the bed and you moaned sleepily at the fact you had hit your head on the headboard of his bed.

“Oh!” Peter squeaks, face flushed, “Was I interrupting..uh..something?” He gestured to your tangled forms and you turned very red.

Bucky rubbed his head and sat up, the blanket slipping off to reveal a muscled chest.

“If something means sleep, yeah.” Bucky grumbled.

He was not a morning person and it normally took about half an hour to coax him out of bed. Peter looked relieved that he did not walk in on you guys in a..scene He stepped inside the room tentatively and put a package on the floor in front of the door.

“Mr. Stark was calling you so he sent me to come get you and I'm really sorry for waking you up next time I'll knock please forgive me-” he drifted off when you clambered out of bed and wrapped him in a hug.

“Thank you Peter. That was very nice of you.” you said and he visibly relaxed.

You pulled away from the hug and grabbed the package.

“Did he tell you what was in the package?” you asked, throwing it to Bucky, who caught it and started to open it like a little kid on Christmas.

Peter shook his head and you nodded.

“Ok Peter. Thank you!”

“No problem Miss [Y/L/N]!” he said and scurried away.

You shut the door and turned around to face Bucky who was looking at what was in the box like it was the world. You set your hands on your hips and looked at him expectantly.

“Want to explain why I woke up next to you?” you asked, eyebrows raised.

“You see, last night you fell asleep in my lap and when I tried to put you in your bed, you grabbed my hand and begged me to stay. I’m so sorry sweetheart.” he apologized and you sighed.

“It’s fine. What’s in the package?”

“It’s my new specialized training equipment.”

You snorted and climbed back into bed with Bucky, who wrapped an arm around you. You stayed like that till it was time for lunch and had never enjoyed any three hours in your life as much as you did then.

*five years later*

You anxiously tapped your foot as you at your desk, hands curled into fists and your whole body tense. Pepper sat beside you, laying a comforting hand on your shoulder, but she was just as tense. The team had yet to come back from their recent mission. The comms had been cut off, but as far as you knew, the team should have been fine. But not being able to hear what was happening got the better of you. You didn’t know what it would do to you if any of the team didn’t come back. Wanda, Vision, Sam, and Peter were your friends. Life wouldn’t be the same without them. Steve was your older brother, Natasha your older sister, and Tony like your father. Losing them would take a heavy toll on you. And Bucky…. Ever since your 23rd birthday, Bucky had been a major part of your life, every monumental thing ever since then had always had Bucky in it. Bucky was your everything, you realized with a jolt, and you felt tears start to stream down your face. Without Bucky… You breathed in and out, closing your eyes to calm yourself. Everything would be fine, the team was good enough. Then you heard the Quinjet landing and almost fell out of your seat to go meet the team. You ran over to where the team were all coming in, everyone weary and tired. You looked through everyone on the team. Steve, Tony, Natasha, Vision, Wanda, Sam, Peter and…

“Where’s James?” you asked, panic creeping into your voice at everyone’s expressions.

They all shook their heads and your breath caught on a sob.

You bit the inside of your cheek as hard as you could until you drew blood, but that made you want to cry even more. Nodding at the rest of the team, you turned on your heel and started walking back when you heard gasps and a strangled laugh. You whipped around, expression confused when you saw Bucky.

You froze right in your spot as you stared at the long haired brunette, his face set in an uneasy smile. Snarling, you stalked toward him and jabbed your finger into his chest.

“James Buchanan Barnes. You have ten seconds to explain to me why the fuck you weren’t with the rest of the team when you came back.” Bucky stumbled over himself trying to explain his reason as you glared daggers at him.

After watching this scene for about a minute, Steve cut in.

“As far as we knew, Hydra’s soldiers had almost killed Peter when he wasn’t looking, so Bucky cut in front of him, and was badly injured. He made us leave with the promise he would be right behind us and so…” Steve drifted off when he saw your expression change from furious to distressed.

“Jamie, are you hurt?!” you asked, trailing your hands over his chest frantically trying to locate the place where he was injured.

“Doll, I’m fine, just a bullet graze to the leg that’s all- ow!” he grimaces when you crouched down and softly touched his upper calf.

“James, come with me now.” you commanded, and Bucky nodded, limping after you and using your shoulder as support.

Once you reached the room, you laid him down on a bed and cut open his pants where the bullet had ‘grazed’ him. You stared at the wound as the blood bubbled and trickled down his leg.

“James that is not a fucking graze goddammit.” you said through gritted teeth as you wiped the blood away.

“Sweetheart I didn’t want to worry you.” he winced when you hit a sensitive spot.

You sighed. Arguing with Bucky while half of his blood was streaming out of him in front of your eyes was one of the top ten worst ideas you had.

“Do you want me to knock you out or..?”

“No.”

You nodded and called a nurse, who finished the job for you, while you sat beside Bucky, holding his hand and whispering sweet condolences to him as he screamed and yelled in pain.

***

It had been a week since Bucky’s wound had been treated and finally you were allowed to go see him. You barged into the room and sprinted to Bucky’s bed, who sat up with a chuckle.

“Hey doll. Eager to see me huh?” he smirked and you smacked his arm.

“Don’t EVER do that to me James. You hear me? Ever again.” you gritted through your teeth, trying to keep the tears back.

When Bucky sensed this, he slid over on the bed and pulled you up beside him.

You didn’t realize you were crying until Bucky used his flesh hand to wipe away the tears, and you sniffed. You gently pushed his hand down and gestured to your lap. When Bucky looked at you in confusion, you tugged his head down until he was laying in your lap. Realization dawned on him and he curled up comfortably in your lap. You stroked his hair and kissed his forehead till he fell asleep.

“Don’t do that ever again James. Or I’ll kill you myself.” you said after you were sure he was asleep.

“Never again sweetheart..” you heard Bucky murmur softly and you chuckled, kissing the corner of his mouth.

You exhaled, relieved. Bucky was safe and he was here with you. And you would make sure that he would never get hurt again. Your Bucky.

* * *

You and Bucky had grown close over 6 years, and you had slowly but inevitably fallen for him. Hard. But you didn’t know that Bucky had fallen for you as well and was very much in love with you. But you both were oblivious to the others feelings and went on with your life like two idiots in love. Bucky made you forget all the bad stuff in your life, which was a lot, and made you feel like the best goddamn girl in the world. Your life was perfect with Bucky by your side.

Until one day where he isn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for reading! This is my first fic as I already mentioned so this means a lot to me. Kudos and Comments are also highly appreciated 💜


	2. Silverfox

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and Bucky are sent on a mission, but when it turns out unsuccessful, you are kidnapped and taken to a place unknown.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading, and feel free to comment what you think will happen next~

The late night breeze sent a chill though you and you shivered, pulling your jacket closer to you. Bucky noticed this and draped his jacket on top of you, making you turn.

“Arthur. We’re literally in the middle of December in _New York._ Do you not need a jacket?”

He shrugged and placed a kiss on top of your head and you tried acting indifferent about it.

 _Husbands kiss the top of their wives heads all the time_ , you thought and smiled up at him.

You and Bucky were supposed to be undercover for a mission involving a famous black market trader. According to information Tony had acquired, this trader had guns powerful enough to take out an entire police department in a blow. So, he sent you and Bucky to pose as a wife and husband duo who wanted the guns. Bucky was impersonating Arthur White, a rich businessman from Australia who dealt in illegal services in private, and you were his wife, Medusa White.

“Don’t worry honey. I’m not cold at all.” he smirked down at you.

“Arthur, for heaven's sake, smooth down your tie!” you acted as if you were annoyed at him and unwrinkled his tie.

You two were supposedly going to a gala where the trader, Silverfox, was going to take you to his lair to trade with him. You were clad in a [navy blue dress](https://cdn.shopify.com/s/files/1/0070/1726/7269/products/tumblr_a925b020e46e97ae09768aa68e701a4a_efe9b1aa_540_1024x1024@2x.jpg?v=1585800495), with a modest v-neckline and thin straps. From the waist it flowed down in tulle layers all the way down to your feet. Accompanying this, your hair was in a black wig that flowed down to your shoulders. Beside you, Bucky was wearing a [three piece notched suit](https://d1nr5wevwcuzuv.cloudfront.net/product_photos/77428129/file_a403ab4ad4_original.jpg) that matched the color of your own. His hair was neatly slicked back in a blonde wig and his beard was clean shaven. You couldn't stop staring at the way the suit brought out the blue in Bucky’s eyes. You were still doing that when Bucky looked at you again and smiled smugly.

“Darling, once you're done staring at me, we can go inside. Take your time though. It’s ok.”

Flushing red, you grabbed Bucky’s arm and ushered him into the ballroom.

You took in the amount of people there, all of them dancing. In the very front was a stage, most likely for auctioning. In another corner, was a bunch of tables, all filled with delicacies that looked so good your mouth watered. Realizing that there was no way you were going to find Silverfox, you led Bucky toward the tables and pulled him down for a “kiss” on the cheek.

“James, how are we going to find him?” you asked into his ear and he shifted so the kiss looked more realistic.

“He’ll be wearing a silver tux with a fox pin. It’s pretty obvious.” he said, lips brushing your ear and you shivered lightly.

Bucky finally pressed a kiss to your cheek and pulled away, “Shall we dance?” You smiled in response and he grabbed your hands, tugging you to the middle of the dance room.

A classical slow song was playing and Bucky placed his hands on your waist, gesturing with his eyes that you should place your arms on him too. You reached up and twined your hands around his neck. You and Bucky knew how to dance, you not so well. Your feet kept stepping on his and you could see him holding back a wince each time. After a while of this fumbling, a dark skinned man in a silver two piece came over to you two.

“May I have this dance?” he asked you and all you could see was the silver pin on his tux.

_Silverfox._

“Y-yes of course.” you stammered and sent Bucky a pleading look as the man grabbed your waist.

You place your hands on his shoulders and tried your best to dance without tripping on his feet.

“So...Miss White I presume?” he purred and you swallowed nervously.

“Yes. And you are Mr. Stanek?” you asked, using the name he asked you used when talking to him.

“Yes. The man you were dancing with was Mr. White, no?”

“Right. That was my husband.” you risked a look at Bucky who was standing near the tables, looking professional and talking to another man, but you had known Bucky long enough to know that he was sulking internally and you bit back a giggle.

The song ended and you tried not to make your haste to get away from the man obvious as you stepped back delicately. You engaged in small talk until you felt a hand slide around you. You almost whipped around and slapped the person when you saw the bracelet you had bought Bucky two years ago for his birthday. Relaxing against his body, you put your hand over the one that was on your waist. Then you realized that the hand on your waist was Bucky’s metal arm. The cyber cloak Tony put on it wavered a bit and you froze. You looked up at Silverfox, and thankfully, he was talking to Bucky. But Bucky didn’t miss your little accident. He slid his other arm around you and gripped your hand, smoothing over it with his thumb.

“Well, shall we get to the deal?” you heard Silverfox say and Bucky agree.

As Silverfox led you two out of the ballroom, the guards at the front bid you goodbye. Nodding at them, you followed the dealer to an alley. Without your notice, you realized, that there was about eleven people in the dark. You turned to tell Bucky this, but Bucky beat you to it, whispering in your ear.

“There’s people following us. Just act normal, doll.”

You nodded and was about to reply when Silverfox abruptly turned around and gagged you.

“WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU THINK YOU’RE DOING TO MY WIFE-” you could hear Bucky yelling and you tried talking around your gag.

When you realized you couldn’t and that Bucky may have a panic attack and relapse, you slowly lifted your hand and jammed your thumbs into Silverfox’s eyes, making him howl in pain and let you go. You ran as best as you could to Bucky in heels, who was punching at the people in black and throwing anyone who tried touching him onto the ground like a rag doll. He raised a fist to hit you too but you grabbed his fist and stroked his cheek with your knuckles.

“Hey, it’s ok Jamie. Come here.” you said, taking note that mostly all the people there were unconscious and that Silverfox was on the ground, blinded.

Bucky took a tentative step toward you, and when you smiled comfortingly at him, he almost ran into your arms like a little kid running to his mother. He was shaking and all you could do was pepper his head with kisses, rub his back and whisper in his ear. You heard Silverfox retreating, but you couldn’t bring yourself to care. After a while, you started to worry as Bucky was still shaking.

“Jamie, love, look at me.” you said and Bucky looked at you, eyes rimmed with red.

Without thinking, you did the first thing that came to mind.

Reaching up, you pulled Bucky’s face down and kissed him. Initially, Bucky was shocked, and his lips were still against yours, even though yours were moving. Dread filled you, and you were afraid you had spoiled your relationship with Bucky when he cupped your cheeks and returned the kiss. His lips were so soft against yours, and caressed yours gently as if he was afraid you would break. You reached up and carded your hands through his hair restlessly, earning a sigh from him. He pulled you closer and it was as if time had stopped right there. The kiss was soft and passionate and after a while, you pulled away, looking up at Bucky, breathing hard.

Then everything went black.

-

You blinked and tried opening your eyes. They felt very heavy and you could only muster a soft ‘James?’

“Not James sweetheart.” a rough voice said.

The voice woke you up real quick. You whipped up and looked around, your gaze focusing on a man. He looked scruffy, as if he had not bathed or shaved in the last few days. He looked at you impatiently and smirked.

“Well, hello, sweetheart.” he drawled, making you flinch.

“Who are you? Where am I?” you started to spew questions but was quickly silenced when the man slapped you.

“Now, now sweetheart. I don’t like being asked too many questions.” he smiled at you and you made a move to get up when you realized you were restrained. Grunting with the effort, you pulled on the restraints but only succeeded in making your wrists and legs even more sore.

“Where’s James..?” you asked helplessly and the man smirked.

“What’s he? Your boyfriend?” he asked mockingly and you thought back to when you had kissed Bucky.

“No. How long has it been since I passed out?” your voice slurred and you realized you had been drugged.

The man just snickered.

“An hour sweetheart. Now go back to sleep, you aren’t needed right now.”

You tried to fight the sleepiness that threatened to overcome you, but you were tired. Oh so tired. You fought and fought, even as the man left. You needed to know where you were and why you were here. It seemed impossible that only an hour ago Bucky’s lips were against yours, moving like you had all the time in the world. Now you weren’t sure if he was alive. You thought back four years ago, when Bucky had run into the middle of the road to get a boy off the road. You let the memory consume you as you drifted off into sleep.

**4 years ago**

You looked around, giddy, as Bucky took your hand and led you through the streets. You had finished a stressful mission with the team and because of that, Tony gave you all a break. Steve had asked Natasha on a date so those two were off doing that. It was about time, you thought, those two had been dancing around each other since you were eighteen. The rest of the team had grown especially tired of it one day when Sam just yelled ‘GET TOGETHER ALREADY’ loudly and Peter started a chant and it kind of went from there.

The streets were filled with cars and people walking like they had no care in the world. Your ears were filled with honks and yells of protest and the buzz of electronics. You flinched as a man grabbed your arm, but he immediately let go when Bucky growled at him.

“I’m considering the option to carry you to the store.” Bucky grumbled as he led you through another crowd.

“Don’t you-JAMES BUCHANAN BARNES!” you shrieked as Bucky lifted you up from beneath your knees and carried you bridal style.

“James, put me down right now.” you commanded and he just smirked, shifting you in his arms.

You breathed in sharply as he did that and cleared your throat.

“James, I’m serious. You’re going to attract attention!” you complained and he retorted without missing a beat.

“Do you see anyone giving a fuck?” he asked smugly, knowing the answer.

You looked around desperately and saw no one, not one man or woman looking at you two. Everyone seemed to be minding their own business.

“See doll? It’s New York, no-ones going to give a fuck.” Bucky murmured in your ear and kissed it softly once, making you shudder slightly.

As you both kept walking in awkward but comfortable silence, you looked around at your surroundings to take in more of New York. You were an inside person, and didn’t like going out much so you just stayed in your corner of the Avengers tower, and if you ever needed anything, you just sent Bucky. Doing so, you had failed to remember the bright neon colors that were plastered everywhere, the bustle of people and the surprisingly comforting sound of traffic. You quickly got used to your surroundings, your eyes adjusting to the bright lights and you didn’t wince every time you heard an obnoxious honk. No matter how much you hid, you couldn't hide the fact you were a New York girl at heart. In fact, all of this was making you very sleepy, so you turned in Bucky’s arms and laid your head on his chest. You could hear his heart beating, and boy, was it beating fast. Shaking it off as anxiety, you nestled into his warmth further and before you knew what you were doing, you pressed a soft kiss to the place where his heart was beating, and you could swear you heard it skip a beat. But you didn’t have the heart nor the brains to care right then, you just let the beating of Bucky’s heart lead you to sleep.

-

“Doll, we’re here. Wake up.” you felt a gentle sensation on your forehead and you opened your eyes to see Bucky’s blue ones staring back at you.

“Jamie.” you murmured and tried to get out of his arms.

Bucky put you down and held your shoulders. Once you could stand, he led you gently to the store's front and swung it open. Once he got you settled in a two person-booth, he slid in next to you and turned to face you.

What flavor do you want?” he asked and you woke up immediately.

“Ube ice cream!” you looked up at him with excitement.

You were on a quest to try the most exotic flavors in the ice cream industry. Ever since you were a kid, simple chocolate, vanilla, or any other plain flavor never appeased you. Instead, you would mix Java ice cream with Butter Pecan and eat it, ignoring everyone’s stares. Once you hit eighteen, you were determined to try every single weird flavor. The first flavor you tried was innocent enough, a lychee ice cream that had you drooling. But it got weirder from there, from a cheese ice cream to a basil ice cream that you had a month ago. Ube was next on your list.

“Ok weirdo.” Bucky gave you a look that made you giggle.

Taking his outstretched arm, you got up and went to the ordering counter. Bucky asked for a vanilla flavor and you tried to look into the glass covers from behind him, for you couldn’t move with the little kids beside you. After a few minutes of this, Bucky realized that there were light touches on his back. He turned around to see you on your tiptoes trying to look over his shoulder, your face scrunched in determination and your tongue poking out of the corner of your mouth. Bucky resolved that you were simply that cutest thing he’d ever seen.

“Sweetheart, what are you doing?” Bucky asked and you looked up at him, annoyed.

“Well since your big, stupid shoulders are too big I couldn’t see.” you complained bitterly and he laughed.

“You should have just asked.” Bucky said, moving so that you could get in front of him.

Once you got comfortable, you looked at all the flavors, and didn’t notice Bucky pressing against the back of you. Only when he wrapped his arms around your waist loosely is when you realized and you looked up at him and grinned, to which he responded to by kissing your nose. You could hear the little kids imploring _‘Oooooo’s_ and giggles. That only made Bucky smile mischievously, as he spun you around and kissed the top of your head. The kids were grabbing the others kids attention at this point and pointing towards you two.

 _Two can play at this game,_ you thought.

You pulled him down using the collar of his shirt and kissed the corner of his mouth, making him gasp. Seeing the way his pupils dilated, you smirked and let him go. While the children's cheers rang in your ears, you paid for the ice cream and led a very dazzled Bucky back to your booth. He kind of stumbled into the seat and you placed both of your ice creams down.

“Jamie…” you said sweetly, watching the way Bucky looked at you with amazement, “Our ice cream’s here, love.”

You leaned in to kiss his cheek, and at that moment Bucky came back to his senses and grabbed your face in his hands, placing a tender kiss to your temple. Now it was your turn to freeze and feel like a fool as Bucky smirked and ate his ice cream.

“I hate you Barnes.” you growled and he laughed, tipping his head back.

“Come on sweetheart.” he said, grinning over at you, “You know you love me.”

“JAMES!”

-

After Bucky finished his ice cream, you grabbed your gone and you both went outside.

“So, in conclusion, ube ice cream is better than pistachio chocolate.” you announced as you took another bite of your ice cream. Bucky looked at you, distracted.

“Yeah that's great doll…” he drifted off as he squinted at the road.

“James what’s wrong?” you asked worriedly and he shook his head.

“Nothi-” he cut off and then ran full speed toward the road, leaving you confused.

You stared after him for a split second and then realized what was happening. A boy, about five years old, was staring at a car approaching him at full speed. The car was in no position to slow down, and even if he did, it would still run over him. You stood there, rigid, as you saw Bucky shove the boy into his mother's arms and flatten himself on the road. You opened our mouth, and the first thing that came out was

“JAMIE!”

And then the car went over him.

You could hear screams, and it took you a moment to realize they were yours. You ran to the middle of the road and held your hand up, stopping any incoming traffic. Once you were confident that nobody else was coming, you kneeled down beside Bucky.

“James…” you said, shaking him, “ _James._ ”

He didn’t wake up. You started to shake more desperately .

“JAMES.” you swallowed a sob and bit your lip, “ _Bucky.._ ”

He gasped and sat up, sending you tumbling into his lap. You got up and half led him, half dragged him to the outside booths in front of the ice cream store you had just been eating in. Sitting him down, you started to run your hands over his biceps, his face, any part you could see so you could take inventory. After you were satisfied that all he had was a few bleeding scratches, you cupped his cheeks and looked at him.

“James..not Bucky.” he muttered.

You jerked back like you had been slapped.

“What?”

Bucky grabbed your wrist and tugged you toward his lap.

“It’s James to you, not Bucky. Ever.” he brushed away a few layaway strands of hair, “Ok?”

“Ok.”

=

A freezing sensation covered your whole body, the cold seeping through your skin and into your bones. You awoke with a gasp and looked up into the face of a new captor. This one looked a bit more clean, with a shaved face and clean clothes. He looked at you with delight, and suddenly you felt uneasy.

“Who are you?” you asked, voice wavering.

“Nobody you need to know.” he drawled and you flinched, “But I know who you are, [Y/N] [Y/L/N].”

You froze and almost screamed, but instead asked calmly.

“How do you know me?”

He looked at you with disbelief.

“How would we not know our most famous agent?”


	3. Forte

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wake up in the new place and are shocked by what new discoveries you make.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all the kudos! 💜🧡💜

You stared at him, features contorted into confusion.

“What?” you asked incredulously, still not registering what he said.

Suddenly a whirring sound was heard and you looked at the man with complete terror as a man came in and dragged him out by his hair, the other man screaming and pleading for forgiveness, his voice filled with desperation. Your frame was shaking with fear and you tried to swallow the lump that had formed in your throat at his words.

What did he mean by the most famous agent? You wouldn’t even take out the trash for these people, so why did he look at you like he was happy to have met you? You didn’t want any part in this world shrouded in darkness, you just wanted to live your life like any normal person.

“[Y/N] [Y/L/N].” a voice tore through the thoughts that were whirling through your mind.

You whipped toward the voice and swallowed your scream.

It was your Bucky.

Your sweet Bucky that you had spent the better half of your life with, your Bucky that had made sure you felt like the best girl in the world, your Bucky that was the cause your face lit up with laughter so much, the reason you practically glowed, the reason you forgot all about your shitty past. Your Bucky that you loved.

But it wasn’t.

He looked nothing like the man you loved. He was wearing a new suit, the front looked the same as his normal suit, straps on his chest in a horizontal manner placed all the way down to his waist where his outfit turned into black pants. But as he folded his hands behind his back and turned around swiftly for a minute to talk to someone, you noticed that the back of his suit was red, blood red. The Hydra symbol was on the back of his suit and you could feel another scream rising out of your throat.

When he turned around again, his eyes were blank, empty, unlike the eyes you had come to admire.

His voice was devoid of emotion as he spoke, “[Y/N] [Y/L/N]. Also known as Forte. I am the Asset. Welcome back.”

You gulped down your fear and timidly asked.

“Can you unrestrain me? I promise I won’t run.”

He seemed to be deep in thought. Then he walked over and tenderly pulled the restraints off of your wrists and you hissed as you rolled your wrists to get rid of the kinks in your wrist bones. You slowly got up, but screamed when Bucky automatically grabbed your hair and shoved you down and he snarled, putting his face and inch away from yours.

“You will not move until instructed. Understood?” he asked and you nodded frantically, earning a slap from Bucky’s metal hand, making you cry out in pain.

“You will use your words, not gesture like a pathetic animal even if you are. Understood?” he commanded and you replied with a shaky ‘yes’.

He pulled away, satisfied with your answer. He folded his hands behind his back again and assumed his former position once more. His eyes stared straight ahead, but when you shifted a little in your seat, he looked down at you. You knew you must have looked like a mess, your hair looking like a hair stack, a few betrayal tears streaking your face, and your eyes begging for answers, begging for Bucky to return to normal, for everything to go back to normal. Seeing his face change into an expression that looked foreign to the Asset's features, you used the opportunity that may or may not have been presented to you.

“Jamie?”

Bucky's POV

He had one job. One job. Obey his orders that were given and nothing else. His orders? Reset Forte for the tenth time. He had done this before, it was normal for him.

He looked down at her. Her (Y/H/C) hair was messed up, looking so messy that all he wanted to do was smooth it back into place. No, not smooth. That’s not what the Asset would do. He wanted to yank it back into place. Yes, that’s right. Her face had some dried tears on her face that made him feel squirmy for some reason. And her eyes. They were so beautiful, a soft (Y/E/C) that were shining with unshed tears. They were pleading, speaking to him on a personal level. And as he looked into her eyes longer, he could find a message in those enchanting orbs.

_Please_

His face contorted into an unknown emotion and as he struggled to re-compose his face, her voice washed over his senses like a balm, soothing any harsh emotions he felt at that time, but they all came rushing back when she said one word.

“Jamie?”

He was jolted with some unknown force and when he reopened his eyes, I almost screamed at the sight in front of me.

“Sweetheart? What-” I ran over to [Y/N] and smoothed down her hair, making sure my hands were gentle.

I wiped away all the tears that stained her face; the sight of it made me want to cry myself. She sniffed softly, helplessly and threw her hands around my neck, burying her head into my shoulder. I stroked her cheek and stopped abruptly when she winced slightly. Cupping her cheek, I looked at her cheek and growled involuntarily when I saw a red mark that was in the shape of a hand. She whimpered softly and red filled my vision, consuming my senses and all of my common sense. Who the hell would do this to my [Y/N]? Who had the absolute fucking guts?

“[Y/N], doll, who did this to you?” I asked, my voice filled with controlled fury.

She shook her head and I could feel my face soften.

“Doll, please.” I pleaded and she whimpered.

“You.” I blinked once, then twice and backed away rapidly.

“No..nononono.”

She smiled grimly and got up, walking towards me. My back hit the wall and I could feel my chest heaving with tortured breaths. Once she reached me, she placed a hand on my heaving chest and leaned into me, cupping my cheek in her other hand.

“It’s ok Jamie. It was the Asset, not you.” she told me and I relaxed a little.

Suddenly the door banged open, making her scream and jump back. I tensed and looked at who had entered.

It was him. His head had a shiny texture to it, as if it had been scrubbed till it sparkled. The red shine of his skull made me cringe as he walked in and looked at me with menace.

He stalked toward me and spoke in a voice laced with malice, “Asset. What are you doing?” he asked and grabbed my arm.

I growled and wrenched my arm out of his grasp.

“I am not the Asset. I am James Barnes.” I claimed stubbornly and the man smiled, making me shiver.

I moved so that [Y/N] was behind me safely, and reached back so I could grab her hand and sooth her.

“Well well. Your relationship with the Asset-”

“James.” [Y/N] practically growled from behind me, and I pulled her into my side, rubbing calming circles in her hands.

“Fine, _James,_ ” he hissed with disgust, “has progressed much farther than the other ten times. Most times he doesn’t even remember you after.”

I stilled, looking straight at him.

“What?”

He simply smirked and punched me in the face.

And then everything went black.

Your POV 

You watched in horror as Bucky closed his eyes and fell to the ground. Your feet moved of their own accord, moving rapidly toward Bucky. Any worried words that were going to spill out of your mouth were cut off when the man grabbed you by the neck and slammed you into the wall.

“We need to get you under control.” he snarled and you stared at him with ten times as much venom as he was directing at you.

He dragged you by the hair as you struggled to wriggle out of his gasp, your breaths ragged and harsh. Realizing that your attempts would be fruitless, you went limp in his grip on you and instead looked around for information you could use for later purposes. After what seemed like hours and hours of being dragged, you closed your eyes.

 _Just two seconds_ , you thought, closing your eyes that felt like they had a hundred pound weights on them, _Just two seconds_.

You didn’t even get to sleep for a nanosecond when the man jerked your head back, making you bite your cheek so hard you drew blood. He dropped you onto the floor and kicked you with his boot.

“Get up you bitch.”

You bit back the response about where he could put his words and got up, brushing your pants off. He looked at you once and then turned around swiftly, making his way to a counter. Tapping furiously at some screen of sorts, he paid no attention to you and you took the time you had been provided to look around and take in all the information you could see. It looked like a laboratory, a chair was in the middle, and the whole room had a dark tinge to it and it made you feel horrible just to be in that room.

“Go to the chair and sit in it.” the man told me.

“Why?” you asked, and was answered with another slap. What was it with these people and slapping?

“I said sit.” he barked and you didn’t flinch or move an inch.

“Fine, but who are you?” you asked, risking a glance at said chair.

He grinned, showing his pearly white teeth that you wanted to punch out.

“I am the Red Skull, liebste¹”

-

She awoke, everything feeling like it had been dipped in cold water and let her sit there so that the water could seep into her bones and into her soul. She sat up mechanically and said the protocol.

“Forte, reporting for duty.”

Her master, otherwise known as Red Skull, smiled as she stared off into blank space.

“Forte, report.”

“My name is [Y/N] [Y/L/N]. I am 25 years old. I live in New York in the Avengers Tower.” she said absently.

“Good. What have you learned about their future plans?”

Her voice wavered just a tiny bit as she said, “Nothing sir. They have none.”

She had anticipated that her master would have a frustrated reaction to this and sat calmly as he swore and spewed his emotions all over the place.

“You _bitch._ So fucking _useless_ , I sent you out there for four years and you get _nothing_?! Maybe I should just kill you off so I don’t have to come across someone as useless as _you_ again.” he spat in her face as he slapped her and cut her.

He inflicted many wounds upon her, but she didn’t feel a thing, not one thing as he continued to hurt her. After all, she had failed her master, she deserved it. After he was satisfied, he left her bleeding and just said one sentence.

“Forte, re-set.”

-

“Forte, I have a new mission for you.”

She got up and stood erect.

“Reporting for duty sir.”

“Go to our new prisoner and interrogate him.”

She could see that he thought this was a bad idea, a risky one, but he had no choice. She saluted and walked briskly to the cell. She opened the cell and locked it behind her and turned to face the prisoner. It was the Asset. He wasn’t in proper position though, she noted. He was disabled and he didn’t bother to look up as she came in. After waiting for a while for him to look up, she got tired and grabbed his hair, yanking it up to make him see into her eyes. 

"Sweetheart?” he asked, tone filled with confusion and betrayal. Anger filled her at the pet name and she yanked his hair back enough to make him yell in pain.

“I am Forte. Not _sweetheart_.” she hissed and the Asset looked like he was about to cry.

Pathetic creature. Emotions were a way to get yourself killed. If everyone was so open with their emotions like this man, then it’s a wonder why our world hasn’t ended yet.

She growled lowly in her throat when he said her fake name.

“Stupid human. Are you deaf? I said I’m Forte. Not [Y/N].”

The Asset looked shocked by this piece of information and then he shook his head and pulled her down by her collar. She snarled and grabbed the hand that was on her collar and gained an upper hand on him, flipping him over onto his back, satisfied when she heard a cry of pain and a _crack!_ of bone.

“[Y/]-, ahem, Forte. Why are you here?” he asked, trying to wriggle out her grip.

“I need not to tell you that.” she growled and flipped him over so he was sitting in his former position, “What’s your name?”

He gulped and answered,

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

She gasped as a memory from her past jerked her back.

**Two years ago**

“My name is James Buchanan Barnes.”

You shook with laughter as Bucky sheepishly admitted his full name.

“Seriously?” you asked, catching your breath after your fit.

He just smiled in response and you snorted. After a silent but comfortable gap, you nuzzle into his chest, making him tense in surprise and then wrap his arm around you, kissing your head. You were both at the Avenger towers movie room, watching a movie that you wanted to show him. Although it had ended an hour ago, you both were too lazy to move so you just laid there together, talking idly and laughing. Suddenly the door banged open, making you jump. Bucky rubbing a comforting hand down your calf and you relaxed, only to freak out when you saw it was Steve. You jumped up and moved to the other side of the couch and squealed when Bucky gripped your waist and pulled you back from the other side. He kissed the soft spot on your neck, making you flush and hide your face in his shirt.

“Buck are you-ok never mind.” you could feel him sit down on the other side of the couch.

Steve poked at your side and you swatted away his hand.

“You let Bucky kiss your neck and act all lovey-dovey with him but won’t let me poke you?” he grumbled and you scoffed, sitting upright.

“Anyway, that’s not why I came here. Happy Birthday punk!” Steve grinned and you took in an annoyed breath.

“James fucking Buchanan Barnes. Why the actual fuck did you not tell me this?” you turned towards him and glared at his flushing form.

“I didn’t think it was importan-hey!” you punched his stomach.

“You know that didn’t hurt him right?” Steve interjected and your glare at Bucky intensified further.

He just smiled sheepishly and you sighed.

Then Steve’s phone rang and he left, muttering about having to take the call and how he would come back later. Once you were sure that he had left, you launched yourself into Bucky’s lap and kissed his forehead.

“Happy Birthday my Jamie.” you wrapped your arms around him and he smiled, burying his face into your shoulder.

-

“[Y/N], no I can’t, you..” he drifted off as you smiled your thousand megawatt smile onto him.

You slipped on the [silver bracelet](http://www.thestylesymphony.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/10/silver-bracelets-men.jpg) that you had bought for him. It has interlocking chains on it that formed little s’s. You smiled at the way it fit on him, and he twisted his wrist once, testing it out.

“Sweetheart, this is,” he cut himself off and picked you up and spun you around once, and once he placed you onto the ground, he hugged you and whispered into your hair, “thank you.”

You smiled and hugged him back, delighted that he liked it.

Leaning up on your tip-toes, you placed a chaste kiss to the corner of his mouth, as close as you dared to get to his plump lips.

“Happy Birthday James Buchanan Barnes.”

=

You started to breath heavily, sensing a panic attack coming on and tried to control your breathing, but instead you took in heaving breaths, gagging on nothing multiple times. Bucky crawled over to you and placed his forehead to yours.

“[Y/N], watch my breathing. See how I’m taking in breaths, yes, good.” he smiled at you comfortingly as you took in another jagged breath, but this time you didn't gag.

Closing your eyes against his forehead, you started to breathe normally but once you evened out your breaths, you were presented with another problem. You started to cry. Ugly pathetic sobs that racked your body and made you choke on your air. Bucky looked shocked and instinctively picked you up and placed you on his lap, kissing your forehead and brushing your hair away from your face. He shushed you and whispered in your ears soothingly and soon enough your breathing slowed and you fell asleep, tears still on your face.

-

Bucky held you protectively as you muttered and sniveled in your sleep. His heart broke to see you so fragile. He knew how strong and stubborn you could be, and he could only imagine what Schmidt had done to you to break you down like that. After a while you calmed down in your sleep, and a sigh left Bucky as he saw your face looking perfectly angelic as you slept. You were so beautiful and it was a shame that you were in this position. It was his fault. This was all his fault. If he had never harbored this many feelings for her then this wouldn’t have happened. If he never had loved her she might have been safe right now, sleeping in an actual bed. But he knew that he was too greedy to let you go. And he was disgusted by himself. He looked down once more as a soft murmur of his name left your plush lips and he bent down, unable to help himself, and brushed a kiss against those irresistible pink folds. You seemed to relax further in his arms and turned. After a while of this, a rapidly approaching Schmidt looked down at you two in disgust and Bucky practically growled.

“You will not take her from me you bastard.” he said, grip tightening.

A guard behind him started to make a move but Schmidt stilled him, looking down at you both with an expression of disgust and his voice colored with amusement.

“Let them be, soon enough they won’t even have this anymore.”

¹ - sweetheart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I tried not to use [Y/N] as much, but there is an add-on called Interactivefics for Chrome that replaces [Y/N] with your name. I highly recommend it. Love you all!


	4. Red hot hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You are tortured by Hydra, while Bucky gets a lead on where you are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Torture and Gore
> 
> Please click away if these trigger you!

It’s been two weeks. Two weeks since Schmidt kidnapped you and Bucky and took you to Hydra. Two weeks since you discovered there was more to you then seemed. You worked for Hydra. But how? The only thing you remembered was Bucky comforting you after you started crying. But why were you crying? You hated all of this. 

You groaned sleepily and shifted to get more of the warmth that you felt from an unknown source.

“Shhh sweetheart, I got you.” Bucky’s voice cut through your sleepy fumbling and you sighed happily.

“Jamie…”

He chuckled and kissed you, making you relax in his arms. You could feel yourself drifting off to sleep once more, but were jolted awake by a rough push. 

“What-” you sat up on the floor, having been knocked out of Bucky’s lap. Whipping around, you saw Bucky being dragged away by a few guards. You practically tried to kill the guards, clawing at their eyes and kneeing them in their groins. They just picked you up and flung you to the other side of the room and you winced when you heard a harsh _crack!_ and a softer _click!_ Trying to move, you screamed in pain when you realized you had dislocated your shoulder. You twisted yourself into an upright position, moving your arm as little as possible. Your ears registered guards yelling and heavy footsteps coming toward you. Bucky picked you up and held you as if he thought you were going to break.

“Doll, where does it hurt?” he asked feverishly and you whimpered out the answer. But before Bucky could say anything, he was stabbed in the back with a syringe, making him pass out. You screamed once more and the last thing that was etched in your mind was Bucky’s limp form and your fervent yells.

-

She woke up and faced her master expectantly. 

“Forte, reporting for duty.” she said dutifully. 

Her master grinned at her without mirth and cleared his red throat. 

“Forte, report the result of the interrogation.” 

She frowned and told her master the honest truth.

“I have no records of said interrogation sir.” 

He frowned and called a guard.

“Forte reset.”

Bucky’s POV 

I woke up, groggy and confused. Lifting myself up on one elbow, I looked around at my surroundings and I could feel my face shift into its usual scowl. It was another Hydra prison, a new one at that. Two black-clad guards were at the front, back faced toward me. Tried to move and hissed when I felt a shooting pain through my arm. That’s right. [Y/N] had broken it. Wait-

[Y/N]!

Ignoring the pain in my arm, I looked up in the upper corner of the call, knowing there was a camera there.

“Schmidt, where the hell is she, you bastard?” I snarled at the camera. 

No answer came and I kept trying. Only after I ran out of creative threats did I lean back, my head hitting the harsh steel wall behind me. Realizing that nothing was going to come from laying here, I looked around my cell, hoping to find some helpful information, but I was highly unsuccessful. That is until I noticed it.

A window, no bigger than my head was placed very high up on the wall I was currently leaning on. I couldn’t jump to reach it, and even if I did, there were metal bars (most likely vibranium) that I couldn’t break through. But that’s not what caught my eye.

It was the light. I knew it had to have been two weeks at least, judging with the way the light varied from time to time. But when we were kidnapped by Hydra, it was about 9:00. But when we arrived, I was awake, unlike [Y/N]. The last thing I remembered before being turned into the Asset once more was that it was broad daylight, and judging by the way the sun shone through, it was 7:30 that day. Which meant wherever we were, they went by Indian Standard Time. That narrowed down my options greatly. 

I smiled half-heartedly. This information would be useful if we get out. I shook my head quickly. _When_ we get out. Not if. Steve and the others were hopefully looking for us by now. I sighed heavily and closed my eyes. Then a harsh bang came from the doors at the front and I jumped up, my body forming the automatic fighting stance. A guard grabbed me and knocked me out, leaving me in a world of black.

***

He woke up and sat rigidly in his chair. 

“Asset, reporting for duty.”

His master cleared his throat in an annoyed manner. 

“Asset, tell me please, what is James Barnes’s relationship with [Y/N] [Y/L/N]?

He smiled maliciously. 

“Over the course of six years, James Barnes and [Y/N] [Y/L/N] have fallen in love. Their friendship started off innocently, very platonic, but by the second year James Barnes had fallen for her and the third year she for him. By the fifth year, they both concluded that they were in love with the other. But they have not had one single romantic moment until the night they were taken into custody, when [Y/N] [Y/L/N] kissed James Barnes to get him to calm down. It was their love for each other that caused the other to internally disable the Asset and the Forte.”

Schmidt looked thoughtful for a moment. 

“I had sent the Forte out for four years. How did they fall in love in six years?” he asked, panic creeping into his voice.

“Unknowingly, the Forte had unlocked the ability to disable herself and recollect the memories of her pre-reset.” 

The red man exploded in a fit of rage and started yelling in outrage and craziness. The Asset cleared his throat loudly to get his master’s attention.

“What Asset?”

“I am pleased to report that I have good news. [Y/N] [Y/L/N]’s relapse only happened because of a drug that she took unknowingly. She was at a bar that day; it had been only minutes before that you had re-set her and let her out. A man had slipped a drug into her drink when she looked away. The drug caused a burst of dopamine in her body, and also -uncommonly- a burst of memory. She must have had a peculiar response to it causing that memory burst. As long as she doesn’t take that drug again we will be fine.” he replied to the man, whose rage had simmered from a boiling heat to a softer heat.

“Is that so?” Schmidt asked and he nodded, happy to have pleased his master.

“Asset!”

“Yes sir!” he said, ready for any order.

“Find out that drug. And destroy it.”

Schmidt gave a pause, then continued.

“Asset!” 

He got up and looked his master in the eye.

"Yes sir!” he said, eagery waiting.

“Explain how [Y/N] [Y/L/N] fell for James Barnes.”

“[Y/N] [Y/L/N] is a very smart and beautiful girl, in public views. She is good friends with Steve, who, in turn, was childhood friends with James Barnes. They were further introduced on (Y/B/D) where they developed a bond at her nineteenth birthday celebration. Over the years, [Y/N] [Y/L/N] realized how ‘amazing’ of a person James Barnes was. He was a very aidful person in her life when he was present. Hence, when a love-deprived person meets a former love-deprived person who feels empathy, what else would the result have been? Bucky Barnes was the first person aside from Steven Rogers to show [Y/N] [Y/L/N] affection. Their relationship only grew day by day till they both were bursting with love for each other.”

Schmidt looked intrigued by this piece of information and he watched as Schmidt mulled this around in his brain for a while, contemplating what to do next. Then he came to a decision. 

“Asset, disable.”

He closed his eyes, and once I opened them again, I growled at the sight in front of me.

“Schmidt.”

“James Barnes.” Schmidt said, as if greeting a long time friend.

“What are you planning, you bastard?” I watched his movements and face, hoping for a slip up that would give me the information I needed. 

“Ah, my dear kamerad¹. That’s for me to know and you to find out.”

I held back the punch I was going to deliver and choked out my next question.

“Where’s [Y/N]?” I asked, biting back the panic that was rising up in me. 

“You want to see your libeste²?” he grinned, his pearly white teeth curving up in an amused smile, “Let’s not keep you waiting then.”

He went over to a table and pulled up a video on the large screen a few feet in front of me. It held live footage. Live footage of you being tortured.

You were sitting in a chair in a large, steel cell, your clothes torn and hair sticking out everywhere. Three smiling guards stood in front of you, all holding a sharp tool in their hands. You were struggling against your bindings, trying to fruitlessly get free of the torture that awaited you. Your mouth was gagged and the fear in your eyes split me in two, but nothing could prepare me for what happened next.

I watched in horror as Schmidt spoke into a microphone connected to his ear.

“Un-gag her. I want to hear her scream. Her true love would like to too.” he looked at me and gestured to the screen and all I could do is watch as the guards un-gagged you. A sudden rush of pride rose up in him when you spit on the guards faces in disgust but it was quickly replaced with fear when they slapped you. But you remained tight-lipped, not giving them the satisfaction of hearing your pain. 

Needless to say, they were displeased with your reaction. They brought out a steaming red-hot poker rod and mocked you.

“Scared darling?” 

You merely smirked at them and anger rose up in the guards again, evident when they firmly pressed the rod to your skin. I could practically smell the burning flesh, but you remained silent, eyes filled with unspoken defiance. After what seemed like ages, they finally took off the poker, and you were seconds away from releasing a whimper. When they showed the final result to me, I almost screamed.

Your soft, unscarred skin was now freshly imprinted with a phrase.

**Long Live Hydra**

The words themselves were a bright red color, the edges slightly blackened, but the imprint was clear. The skin around it was even redder and was bleeding. I could only imagine the pain she was feeling, yet she sat there, calmer than he had ever seen her, acting like she just didn’t get branded like a piece of meat. 

I chewed on the inside of my cheek nervously. This was the worst they could do...right?

And as if on cue.

“Oh don’t worry kamerad¹. This is just the beginning.”

-

You held in the scream that was threatening to break through. Red hot pain flashed through your arm, making you see white spots that didn’t exist. You looked down at your scarred flesh and breathed in deeply. Another flash of pain went through you and you bit your lip. Hard. It felt like someone had taken your arm and dipped it in a large pot of lava, then let blue flames lick the wound, and finished it off by carving their motto in your still raw flesh. Blood was steadily pouring out of multiple un seeable seams in your now scarred skin. You thought of good things instead, things that made you smile. Steve’s contagious laugh, Natasha’s playful threats, Peter’s childish antics. Breath in, breath out. Breath in, breath out. Your breaths were slowing down and you concentrated on everything but your arm. Wanda’s smile, Tony’s inappropriate jokes, Pepper’s motherly love. You felt yourself feeling a bit better. That was until.

“Darling, I was just starting.” Ugly guard stared down at me with a devilish smile, “Now, tell us, what are your plans for Hydra?”

You just grinned impishly at them, as if he made a funny joke that you related to. His smile turned into a snarl as he took out very sharp scissors and held them to your long hair. The scissors dug into your scalp and you could feel exactly how much damage they could do. These things could chop off your finger without stopping. 

“Come one darling, tell us.” he breathed into your ear and you spat into his eyes in disgust. He drove the scissors into your hair, one leg gathering all your hair, the other running deeply through the soft skin at the base of your head. You could feel the blood dripping off the cut and onto your neck and you squirmed lightly, not doing anything else. _Chop!_ And just like that, the hair you had worked so hard to cultivate over the years was gone with a single snip of the same scissors that had created a deep scar at the top of your neck, no doubt. Realizing you weren’t going to even make a peep, the guard literally drove the scissors into your neck, snipping here and there and grunting with satisfaction whenever a soft part of your neck started to bleed. Finally frustrated beyond no return, the guard gouged a piece of your neck and _snip!_ You stared in absolute horror as a small chunk of your neck fell to your feet, the raw, pale flesh in kicking distance. 

You almost lost it.

The pain was unbearable, blinding you. It felt as if someone had doubled the poker pain even more. The fresh, bubbly blood ran down your neck in heaps and you let yourself whimper loudly. It _hurt._ So much. Tears blinded your vision and bile rose up in your throat as your eyes blurred and your head went foggy. It felt like someone had broken every single bone in your body and left them like that. Little did you know that was next.

“Come on darling. Just tell us, and this will all be over.” 

Sam’s funny nature, Vision’s deep love for Wanda, Bucky’s scrunched up face whenever he saw a dramatic scene.

You gasped, as if someone had dunked you into water for hours and you were finally getting your first breath of fresh air, making you clear headed and alert.

_Bucky_

“T-t-they’re going t-t-to attack-k you all s-so-on usin-ng the Hulk and the G-g-guardians of the G-galaxy.” you breathed out and the guards all smiled in triumph. They finally moved away and left the room.

You felt yourself start to drift off, but you needed to take inventory of all the injuries. 

_Bucky’s eyes, Bucky’s laugh whenever I do something stupid, Bucky’s soft locks._

You felt around in your body, activating nerves everywhere.

  1. Red hot poker rod burn that had imprinted ‘Long Live Hydra.” 
  2. Deep cut in the place where neck and head meet plus chunk of neck cut
  3. Five out of ten fingernails brutally ripped out and left bleeding
  4. Most bones broken ruthlessly, left shoulder dislocated
  5. Most if not all teeth knocked out including cut tongue
  6. Back whipped and multiple bleeding wounds
  7. Legs bruised from being hit with ten pound stick



Realizing how much pain you were finally feeling, you let out a blood-curdling cry of pure pain. Every nerve felt like it was lit with fire, every piece of skin being pierced with needles, acid poured over _everything_. You finally let yourself cry, wondering what you did to deserve this, why they were torturing you. 

_Bucky’s voice, Bu-_

FUCK IT.

Believing in love never helped you. If you had never fallen in love you’d be fine right now, maybe on a date or hanging out at a bar. You’d be happy, without having to wonder if the person you loved was in love with someone else. You hate being in love. So fucking much

* * *

You woke up groggily and pain shot through you immediately, forcing a pained cry out of you. 

“Oh _no_ sweetheart. Oh fuck- doll..” a helpless voice cut through your hazy state and once you realized who it was, you completely lost it.

“GET AWAY FROM ME JAMES. I FUCKING MEAN IT.” you yelled at the brunette whose expression changed into pain so much deeper then what you were feeling.

“Swee-”

“DON’T CALL ME THAT. THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT. IF I HAD NEVER FUCKING-” your voice broke pitifully, “If I had never fallen for you, I’d be ok now..”

Bucky did something you had never seen him do before.

He started to cry.

Foreign tears ran down his cheeks and he made a tiny sobbing sound, face buried in his hands.

“You’re right doll. This is all my fault. Oh god, this is all my -fuck, oh _fuck_ \- I...you..if I had never been _born_ everything would be fine. Goddammit I should just fucking die, I don’t deserve to live-”

You looked at Bucky falling apart and you almost had a heart attack. What have you done? This wasn’t his fault, not in the least. It was Schmidts, for being greedy and only for thinking about power and not caring about the amount of people who died. Not poor Bucky’s.

“Oh Jamie...I’m so sorry! This isn’t- ah!” you cried out in pain when your leg twitched, sending a bolt of pain through your whole body.

“Sweetheart! Don’t move! I’m coming hold on.” he quickly returned to you and smoothed your hair down and used his shirt to wipe away the blood and to make a makeshift cast for both your arms. As he worked on you, you spoke hurriedly.

“Jamie, I’m so sorry. This isn’t your fault. I felt so frustrated with everything… I just wanted to lead a normal life.”

He looked up at you with eyes filled with regret.

“And I took that away from you [Y/N]..” he said, voice shaky.

You tentatively cupped his cheek.

“I’d rather live a inconsistent life with you in it then any life without you James Buchanan Barnes."

You were so in love. And it was painful. But you enjoyed being in love. So very much.

Love is a beautiful torture.

And you hated it. 

  
  
  
  


¹ - friend

² - sweetheart

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to point out the fact that in Bucky's POV it changes from 'he' to 'I' suddenly. This isn't a mistake. It's to symbolize the fact that Bucky isn't really in control of who he is when he's the Asset, but he is when he's James Barnes. As always, thank you for reading and sorry for the late update!


	5. The Other Side

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A view of whats going on at the Marvel Compound

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OH MY GOSH. GUYS I AM VERY VERY SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING IN SO LONG! Life has been very busy for me lately. I will try my best to update every week from now on. Anyway, Imma stop rambling. Thanks for not ghosting me!

Back at the Avenger’s Compound 

◦ Steve's POV ◦

Steve paced his room angrily as he rolled the words that Natsha had told him over and over again in his head.

_“[Y/N] and Bucky. They’ve been captured.”_

He growled with fury as he threw a vase across his room and yelled in frustration.

Two of the people he loved most in the world. Kidnapped. By the one thing that ruined his life.

“Steve..?” Wanada poked her head into his room, “You ok?”

Steve swallowed.

“Great.”

-

◦ Tony Stark's POV ◦

Tony looked up at the wall, then down at the floor. He breathed in deeply then calmly walked out of his office and sat down on his couch. After a while, Pepper came out to him and pulled his head down into her lap, stroking his hair calmingly. 

“Pep, who the hell would do this?” he asked helplessly and then shot up.

“Shit.”

“ _T_ _ony.”_ Pepper reprimanded him when their young daughter, Morgan stepped into the room.

“Daddy!” she grinned happily and launched herself into her arms. Tony smiled at her happily and wrapped his arms around her.

“Hey squirt” he hugged her tight to him and she snuggled into his warmth, “What’s wrong?” she looked up into his eyes and his breath caught in his throat.

This was his daughter. He loved her so much that he dedicated every breath to her. _His Morgan._ He couldn’t imagine life without her.

But he couldn’t imagine life without [Y/N] either.

-  
  


◦ General POV ◦

Tony arrived back at the base and called a meeting. 

“Agent [Y/N] and James Barnes have been kidnapped by an unknown force for exactly five days. Does anyone have any suggestions as to who might have done this?” he asked, hands clasped behind his back. 

Steve grimaced as he spoke up loudly.

“HYDRA.”

Tony felt like he had been dunked in water and was gasping for air. Pepper took one look at him and rushed to help him breathe. 

“In out, in out, you got this. In out.” Once Tony took in a staggering breath in, Pepper relaxed, feeling like a weight had been lifted off her chest. But some of the weight was still there.

“Ok, HYDRA it is. Pep and Wanda, go through our files and scrounge up _everything_ we know about HYDRA. Rogers and Sam, go to the place where they last were seen or heard. Vision and Natasha, find Silverfox. Everyone hears me?” he said in his most commanding voice and everyone nodded feverishly, all worried about their fellow comrades. 

Tony sighed deeply and leaned back, bone-tired. He was so tired of everything not being peaceful. That’s all he wanted for the longest time. To live happily with Pepper and Morgan and spoil her worse then anybody would ever. Then HYDRA wanted attention. He exhaled and opened his eyes. Fine then HYDRA.

We’re paying attention now.

◦ Pepper and Wanda ◦ 

“Ok, well, we have limited information on HYDRA though.” Pepper remarked as she clicked off the file and opened another. 

“Let’s focus on what we have so far.” Wanda flashed her a quick grin as she brought out a pencil and paper, “I was thinking we could physically write it down so everyone could see.”

Pepper grinned approvingly. “Tony’s going to have a fit.”

Wanda mirrored the gesture then twirled the pencil in her fingers, pondering in her head.

“Ms. Stark, could you please pull up the files?” Wanda requested and Pepper nodded, bending over the chair to vigorously type something.

“Call me Pepper.”

Wanda nodded and started writing furiously.

Hydra:

  1. Led by Schmidht. 
  2. In Germany?
  3. WORLDWIDE
  4. Want destruction
  5. After tesseract
  6. Uh they like hydras?
  7. Have [Y/N] and Bucky



Why do they need [Y/N] and Bucky? What’re they gonna use them for? 

“That’s all we know I think.” Wanda looked up from her list and directed her words at Pepper.

She nodded and motioned for Wanda to follow her, them done with not so successful results. 

◦ Back with Tony ◦ 

“WHY THE HELL DID YOU TWO USE A PENCIL AND PAPER?! ARE MY GADGETS NOT ENOUGH?! YO-” he bit himself off when he heard Pepper’s giggles, “Uh, I mean whatever.”

Pepper laughed and kissed her husband. “You’re so adorable Tony.” 

He blushed and shook his head.

“Let me see the -uhm- _paper._ ” 

Wanda handed the paper to him with a smirk. He grudgingly took it and scanned the paper, raising his eyebrows once he was done. 

“Well, this is a good start. And those questions are good. Uh, could you guys _type_ up the reasons they could Bucky and [Y/N]?”

Pepper smirked at Wanda who smirked right back, both of them on the same page. 

“We’ll _write_ it down on this paper Tony.” Pepper said and left with a flourish, leaving a red-faced Tony to sulk. 

◦ Sam and Steve ◦

The car drive was tense and both residents of the car were silent as Sam drove the car. Just to break the silence and in a desperate attempt, Sam turned the radio on. Music floated through the tense air and Sam gulped slowly. He knew how much Bucky and [Y/N] meant to Steve; they were practically the only family he had. And Sam really, _really_ didn’t want to die because he accidentally pissed off a super soldier. He involuntarily yelped and jerked the car when Steve punched the radio hard enough to splinter the poor thing. 

“Cap, what the fuck-” Sam started but then glued his mouth shut, thinking better of it, “Uhh, I mean it’s ok?”

Steve just growled in response and sat back, anger clouding his vision and taking over his senses. Hydra fucking ruined his life in the first place and then the second time, over and over again. What did he ever do? Is this what he gets for trying to be the best he can? Endless loss and torture? Great.

“Uh, don’t want to interrupt your brooding Cap, but we’re here.” Sam announced tersely and got out the car. 

Steve just grumbled in response and got out of the car, slamming the door in annoyance. 

They both walked around the building once and asked for permission to go inside. Once the guards poked at them and finally cleared them knowing they were the Avengers, the two men walked inside and split up, looking for clues. Once they met up in the middle once again, they shared what information they found.

Which was nothing.

Sam ran out after Steve’s stomping form and followed him outside. That was until something caught his eye.

“Cap! Look at this!” Sam grabbed Steve’s arm, who for the first time in days didn’t yell but instead spoke normally.

“What? Did you find something?” he asked, looking around as if Bucky was going to pop out of thin air.

“I think so; look at that alley.” Sam pointed into a dark, narrow alley and Steve frowned.

“What about it?” he asked, peering into the shady passageway.

“Look at the bottom.”

There was Bucky’s favorite bracelet, shining in the dark and laying on the floor. Steve lost it right there. He picked up the bracelet as if it was the most fragile thing on Earth and held it to his chest, cradling it gently. Silence sobs racked his strong frame and all Sam could do is place a hand on his friends shoulder in silent support. 

Steve mourned silently for all he lost. What if they never found [Y/N] or Bucky? Or even worse, what if they found them, dead? He couldn’t do this anymore. But he had to. For his family and his friends. He needed them. 

“Uhm, sorry, let’s see.” he cleared his throat as if nothing happened, “How come there’s no footsteps leading anywhere? This happened two days ago right?” he walked around the room, making sure that his claim was right. 

He was indeed right. There were no footsteps in sight. 

“Well, there’s only a few explanations as to why.” Sam started but Steve caught on and finished the sentence.

“One, they weren’t here. Which is not true because Bucky’s bracelet was here. Two, something led them out, something that could fly, or three..” he looked at Sam, “They fell down.”

They both looked down at the floor beneath the place where the bracelet formerly was. Steve experimentally nudged the floor while Sam ran his hands on the walls, feeling for levers. 

“Wait. HYDRA isn’t stupid enough to put a lever where we could find it.” Steve said and Sam nodded, crossing his arms over his broad chest, “Something that we wouldn't think of.”

They pondered every single way until Steve blinked. He walked over to the trash can and looked over it. Then he opened the dumpster and climbed inside.

◦ Vision and Natasha ◦ 

“Vision what the hell are you doing?” Natasha growled when the man suddenly stopped in his tracks, closing his eyes.

“Follow me.” he commanded and Natasha grudgingly stomped after him. Vision walked up to an apartment and asked for access.

“Commend the future.” he said to the man at the front desk and he grinned, his grime encrusted teeth making Natasha want to shove a toothbrush down his throat.

They followed the stout man to the back of the back of the building where he grasped at nothing. Well, supposedly nothing. An invisible cloak, a cyber cloak according to Vision, revealed a huge door. The man opened it and motioned for them to go inside. Natasha adjusted her very uncomfortable wig and breathed in the foul air. 

_For [Y/N] and Bucky_ she thought and rolled her neck, working out the annoying kinks that had formed. 

They walked inside and looked around at the steel corridors and Vision imprinted all this in his brain for future reference. 

“What’s your business here? And what rank are you?” he looked them up and down, suspicion creeping into his voice. 

Vision suddenly closed his eyes and paused suddenly, making Natasha wide eyed. 

“What the hell are you doing _Hamilton_.” she hissed under her breath, full knowing that he could hear her.

“We’re Lernaean and here to report our mission success.” he said and the man smiled. 

“Okay, you may go.” he replied with those disgusting teeth showing.

 _Shit,_ Natasha thought, realizing what just happened, _He was using that hearing ability of his to hear some information from some random HYDRA fuck._

They walked down the corridor and entered a room where a man was sitting. The man himself was a burly, bearded guy with large muscles rippling across his arms. He crossed his arms over his chest and glared at us. 

“What do you need.”

Natasha straightened up and narrowed her eyes at the man.

“We need to see Silverfox.”

The man raised his blonde eyebrows at the two of them. 

“Rank?” 

“Lernaean.” Natasha curtly responded.

He nodded and poked at some buttons on a phone. After mumbling something to the other person on the phone. Natasha and Vision waited around awkwardly when a dark-skinned, blonde man walked in wearing a fancy magenta suit.

“You needed me?”

Natasha walked up to him and held her gloved hand out.

“Helen Garrett. Nice to meet you Silverfox.”

He smiled warmly and took her hand. Natasha mentally relaxed when he seemed so unsuspecting.

_What an idiot._

That lasted all of three seconds when he twisted her wrist. Natasha’s brain kicked into instinct mode and she flipped the man using her feet and punched his face. She froze when she realized what she did but the man just flashed a bloody smile.

“Get them.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know the chapter this week is a little short but I will try to make next weeks longer. Comments and Kudos are appreciated! Love you all :)


End file.
